ur Happiness Adam

Adam Adryan 

You are the BEST thing that ever happen to me in my entire life. No words could describe how much I fell in love with u at the very first sight.. U really took my breath away.. Never I want you far from me.. cause I know at this stage ( one month old ), u are almost helpless.. 

However, I know one day.. or perhaps someday... when u grow up, u'll find a perfect someone who will take your breath away.. I would not see it as losing you cause nothing can erase the fact that I am your mother.. I just want you love sincerely.. whole-heartedly.. 

Your happiness place me at most ease, Adam.. 

All I want for you is Happiness.. 

Glimpse of Happiness

I could still remember..when I was five months pregnant, I always wanted my husband by my side..no one..only him!! When doctor grant me leave to stay home to rest, I wish he could be by side.. I dont know why at first.. I never want anything bad happen to him.. 

While the day passed, I busy myself with chore.. (though i'm not really a domestically abled) I would handle the laundry, cooked and clean.. and I always make sure his hot Milo and dinner is ready just in time for him when he reached home.. 

I'm not bragging about the things I did for him but I feel good when he came home and his food is served... though I am not really a good cook.. but he always appreciate my cooking.. rarely he complained about my cooking.. His smile when he greeted me at the door was something I could never forget throughout my pregnancy.. and he would say.."my baby in Rompers!" 

Though its just memories now..

I have always want him by my side before, during and after pregnancy..No one else.. its just hard to let him go even for a moment.. and I had hope that when my baby is born, he'd look just like his father.. cause I miss that smile.. a smile full of love that meant so much to me.. 

Now I realised that it was just a glimpse of happiness for me..

All those feelings were meant for something big.. something no married couple wanna go through.. 

Buat Semua Wanita

Buat Semua Wanita

Di Hati Ini

 Permata Hati Ku

  Ya Allah 
 Jika dia benar untukku, 
 Dekatkan lah hatinya dengan hati ku 


 Jika dia bukan milikku 
 Damaikan lah hatiku dengan Ketentuan Mu

Adam - 1 mOnth!!

Today Adam is fully one month old!! So far Alhamdunillah he's been growing up well.. I'm just a lil worried though. Somehow I know he misses his father.. Deep down I wish he remembers.. Deep down I wish he will drop by to see Adam!! It's ok if he doesn't pay any attention to me but as long as Adam gets his daddy's touch, I'll be very contented.. I was very tired today but I didn't lose hope.. Everytime the clock strike half past eight i'd wish the door bell goes off & it's him at the door.. Hope & faith paid off when the clock strike 9pm n the door bell went off.. I heard his voice and goodness God knows how much I missed that voice.. Our Prayers answered.. I believe Adam is as happy as I am.. I know.. I'm his mother.. Well Adam, mommy loves u & daddy loves you.. Though we are separated by distance, let's hope n pray that he shall come hack to where he should be... To Us!!

Mengharap kau kembali...

Sungguh aku rindu.. Rindu belaianmu.. 
Sungguh aku pilu.. dengan perbuatanmu..
Namun kami mengharap kau kembali disisi.. 
Disisi keluargamu.. Aku & Adam.. 

4 weeks Old - Adam!!

Adam gonna be 4 weeks tomoro!! Yeay!!! A lot changes for my lil boy.. But one thing for sure, he took my breath away whenever our eyes meet.. He smile at me before he goes to sleep.. Sometimes he laughs too! Cute isn't it? And whenever he cries after his milk time, he gave me this "carry me please mommy" look! I know he loves to be carried.. Though I can't held him for so long due to my operation, I would try best wait til he he fell asleep.. Nothing beats watching him sleep..

Rindu itu kembali.

Memang aku marah Dan sedih di Atas segala yang berlaku.. 
Beberapa Kali aku Cuba Berlembut denganmu.. 
Dan setiap Kali itu jugak lah kau sakiti hatiku dengan kata-katamu baik yang berasas mahupun yang tidak! Lalu aku tanam perasaan benci terhadap dirimu agar hati ini tidak merindui kehadiranmu mahupun terluka dengan kata-kata kesatmu..

 Namun, masih juga rindu itu muncul.. Aku tidak tahu Samada ianya melemahkan aku atau sebaliknya.. Tapi aku sikit pun tidak mengharap atau meraih simpati darimu.. Cukup lah kau biarkan kami terseksa dengan perbuatanmu..

Cukup lah aku dianiaya.. Biarkan rindu ini kusimpan dalam.. Sedalam-dalam hatiku Dan aku tidak minta rindu Dan kasih sayangku dibalas olehmu Hanya aku mohon simpatimu pada anakmu.. Walaupun dia belum mengerti, dia juga kenal erti rindu pada ayahnya.. Mengapa kau hukum dia sedemikian rupa?
 Sebab itu aku katakan cinta itu sememangnya buta!

 Kerana cinta kita perlu berkorban, kerana cinta aku dianiaya Kerana cinta juga lah rindu ini tetap hadir Walau sebanyak mana aku tanam benci Aku mahu kau tahu.. Walau kau anggap semua yang kau lakukan itu betul.. Pernah kau Tanya dirimu sendiri? Adakah kau bahagia tanpa cinta? Cinta pada anak Dan isterimu.. Kau tinggalkan kami untuk hidup tanpa dirimu.. Walaupun kami terseksa dengan perbuatanmu, aku dan Adam tidak Akan membencimu.. Namun kami doakan Tuhan lindungi hidupmu kerana kami tidak mahu kehilanganmu Dan buka pintu mu untuk kami Dan lembutkan hati mu untuk pulang pada kami.. InsyaAllah..

Love is blind (part 1)

Kata orang cinta itu buta!! Memang cinta itu Buta! Love is the reason we decide to tie a knot.. That was almost a year and half ago.. Life was simply beautiful for us.. I could still remember how happy I was when I found out I was pregnant.. Actually the feeling was indescribable... Well there was shock, excited, happy, overwhelm and of course thankful to God for blessing me with this baby.. And I keep believing that this baby is a blessing that's gonna keep our marriage and our love stronger.. I could still remember how thoughtful and caring my husband was throughout my pregnancy.. I would say that at the end of my pregnancy, he was the one who helped me thru this stage of my life.. Often I get upset easily during my pregnancy.. Could be the issue of being overly sensitive during pregnancy.. Since I'm already a sensitive person.. And I could still remember how loving he was thru out.. And all I wanted was just him.. Only him!! I know of some cases whereby when the wife got pregnant, some end up hating their husband or drive their husband insane with the hormonal changes.. I'm not sure if I drove him nuts but looking back my nine months of pregnancy, it was so bad.. At least he was not driven out of bed.. LOL!! My cravings was a simple one I would say.. Within reach.. So he had it easy then.. Lil I didn't know things went outta hand a week after Adam was born.. Yes.. That's where it all started..it was a nightmare for me.. And what more can u feel when the very person u love most just change overnight.. Suddenly things just change.. Yes this is my part of the story..

To be continued...